8a3900f2729ed3dc70e95a32b611a6b2So, I’m going on vacation next week and I am a stinking mess. My anxiety is through the roof. I mean all things that can go wrong – even the ones that can’t – they are circling my head. Sigh. Wish this life was easier.

The biggest anxious thought I have is about my diet. Remember how I told you my story? Well, there were extra times that I had cheated and went backwards on my weight loss. It was every time I went away. I don’t want that to happen again.

Now, I know what you are thinking – its vacation calm down. No. I have ADHD and Anxiety. I can not calm down. Its physically impossible for me to. That was my lame attempt at a joke btw.

I’m crying out to God for grace and wisdom but it still scares me. I mean the husband has said he’ll take me food shopping once we get there – but still.

Ya know?

God help me please.

Did I mention my kids are sick? The boy is on antibiotics, which make him sick so he barely eats which makes him more sick. Sigh. The girl is starting to get congested and tired now. Yeah. My  anxious brain is saying “SEE? I knew this was gonna happen!”

If anyone can tell me how to shut that brain up, that would be great thanks.

Positive side? The house we are staying at WiFi – I don’t hafta worry about my workouts IMG_0619anymore! Thank God for Beachbody on demand! I know I must sound like such a walking ad for them, but its just cause I love them so much! (sidenote: I am becoming a beach body coach but I would still say that even if I wasn’t)

Talking about beach body coaching thing – I am getting set up after vacation! So excited that I get to help people like Rossy helped me (My coach).

Well, my in-laws are here (they are coming with us), and I have nothing else to say. Felt good to write out my anxieties. Hope your day is better!

Goals…

Starting weight: 315

Current weight: 262.5

Goal weight: 200 – I’m reaching for it but honestly I’ll be happy with anything below 230

Dietary plans: counting calories; clean eating; not eating after dinner, working out on an empty stomach

Workout plan: walking, exercise bicycle, running, Turbo Fire

Reason for: to be healthy and happy and there for my kids

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