it was an interesting day. Went to the psychiatrist this morning, so it threw off our homeschooling schedule. We ended up starting around 11…but back to my psychiatrist appt. it went well. She in fact wants to put me off one of my meds. Granted it’s one that I only started because of the move but still getting off a med is getting off a med in my book. 

The kids came with me, I hate when they come with me. I feel guilty that I see a pdoc when I’m with them. I know I shouldn’t be but still….I am. My problem I will deal with it when I see fit.

So we get home around 11 and I tried to get the kids to play in the playground that’s by our apartment. The boy would just circle it. A coupla times he would climb up the equipment but would climb off it just as quick as he got on it. His anxiety got the better of him. I feel so bad for him sometimes, he’s got me for a mother and then he has anxiety issues.

So eating wise I’ve been fine….well I was fine until about 20 mins ago. I’m in the red in my calorie intake, yeah I failed today. But the stress from the kids homeschooling got to me (I snacked earlier too)…but I’m not blaming the kids, even though I kept saying “on the line” 3000 times and they still wrote above the line. Sheesh….no I’m not reliving it but seriously I wonder sometimes if there is something wrong with their hearing, no matter what the doctors say.

Ugh….I blanked. What was I talking about? Oh my snacking. I was doing good but just something clicked and I needed to eat. I bet it was the stress of the …. Lol I won’t relive it.

Sigh. I just wish this would be easier. The weight loss and dieting. I’m good with the exercising….as long as I keep pushing myself. Man is it hard to exercise when your depressed, but I do it. I push through and exercise no matter what. I don’t know what pushes me besides the thought that if I miss a day I’ll never get back on schedule. But I guess that is enough for someone who suffers from OCD and bipolar.

Did I tell you since moving I’m cleaning like crazy? I mean I just stopped right now to clean! I can’t stop myself, the pdoc seems to think that in a month my compulsions to clean will pass because of my fear of rats and roaches and ants will take over, is just a passing thing. I don’t know maybe she’s right.

I did good today in exercising. Did I say? I did the hour on the bike and then half hour (maybe more) walking and my body didn’t hurt afterwords! Thank you Jesus I think I’m finally used to this crap!

Here’s hoping your day was awesome

Current weight: 306 – I should update that but I don’t have a scale

Goal weight: 230

Dietary plans: counting calorie 

Workout plan: walking and exercise bicycle

Reason for: to be healthy and happy and there for my kids