This week has been hard. My paranoia has been up, I accused my mom of hitting on my husband (yay hypomania) and I’ve had suicidal thoughts. I’m barely writing the devotionals; scraping by is more like it. Why?

Because baby girl had her surgery last Thursday and my sleep has not been good since.

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I know, I know. I’m breaking the first rule of self-care. But I have no one to help me or really to alleviate me …. Is that the right word? … Baahh. I have no one there to help me during the day and say: gee Jessica you didn’t sleep at all last night go take a nap.

I tried taking a nap on Sunday but my mind was racing and I tried to pick a fight w my husband.

Yeah. I was a little bit hypo.

Today I crashed badly. Had to hide the crying from the kids. My words of comfort from my husband as I cried: “I can’t do this anymore”? “I’m tired of this Jessica. Yes you can. By Gods grace you can and you will do this.”

I love that annoying mans face

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