I’m here at the pdoc’s office. There’s a med salesmen talking to the receptionist – all I want to do is scream her face off.

Is that something people do? Scream faces off? Whatever.

I am ready to lose it on her. She’s got a loud voice and is talking about crap I don’t care about. This is a small waiting room so she’s screaming across the small room.

I can’t I don’t even know what I’m writing about I’m just trying to write so I don’t kick or scream.

Is that how people do it? Talk rudely across a room without regard to others about a gruesome car accident?

I want my mommy.

What else can I say cause I’m still waiting and don’t like people right now. Well, at least they stopped and my jaw has unclenched. Maybe I should stop.

Man, I need help.

I’m at pdoc’s now to get a f/up on lithium and to see if I really am bipolar. I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean.

I mean if it quacks, waddles, and looks like a duck isn’t it a duck?

I’ve been struggling the past couple days. Suicidal and major intrusive thoughts. Wonder what pdoc will say about this.