The gray sky reflected the gray of her soul.

Blink, Blink, Blink.

She absentmindedly scratched her arm as she felt the magenta fog swarm around her. She didn’t care as she felt the fog settle permanently on her head.

Blink, Blink, Blink.

As she drank her hot chocolate, it scalded her throat – she tried hard to care. Truthfully, it was  a welcome relief to feel anything. Anything but this soul sucking emptiness.

Blink, Blink, Blink.

Her children ran around yelling and playing and screaming. Ignoring her screams for silence.

Blink, Blink, Blink.

She stared ahead as her children demanded for attention that she had no energy to give. “Mommy, she wants juice,” comes the calm response of her too old for 4 year old son; bringing her back to reality.

Blink, Blink, Blink.

The stinging reminder that her son sometimes reminds her to be a better mom, she had to push back on. “Thanks sweetie – I know. But she has juice in her cup.”

Blink, Blink, Blink.

She stared at the blank computer screen. The cursor taunting her over and over not moving ever being so ignorant in its stance.

Blink, Blink, Blink.

She tries to clear her mind and let the writing come, but instead come the arrows. You are a horrible mom. They do not deserve you, they deserve a million times better. What are you doing still here? 

Blink, Blink, Blink.

“Lord please silence these evil thoughts.” Tears starting to flow.

Psalm 18:17 He delivered me from my strong enemy, and from them which hated me: for they were too strong for me. 18 They prevented me in the day of my calamity: but the Lord was my stay. 19 He brought me forth also into a large place; he delivered me, because he delighted in me. 20 The Lord rewarded me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands hath he recompensed me.

Blink, Blink, Blink.

The world can wait another day.

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