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Everyone is just relying on me too much sometimes. God help me.

When we were at Walmart today, I just balked at how much the kids didn’t rely on me …. Then that crap happened and I didn’t react. And they were trying to rely on me and I wasn’t there for them emotionally. I was an empty shell of myself. How horrible am I?

I didn’t react til we got home and Did I realize how much it affected my son. Then I wrote the letter to Walmart and posted it here – not like anyone cares.

But then the rest of the day my son wanted just to sit on my lap or be with me. I realized I needed to be more of a bear momma when it happened.

Or something that makes sense. Doesn’t matter – I failed.

Then we got home, I had my counseling session which was really good but I just couldn’t shake this funk – obviously as I am just the sunniest right now.

Then my kids woke up – yes my therapist comes over – and still my son was hanging off of me like white on rice. Or something that makes sense.

I’m just so blah right now it’s not even funny.

I tried to explain salvation to my son, I guess he’s too young still to understand…he kept saying: hee, hee no thank you. So cute, I didn’t expect much he is only 3.

Hubby came home and all hell came loose….or whatever makes sense. The girl started throwing things because she couldn’t find her cup – which was in front of her…same ole life.

Such a wonder I hate to love it here.

Or something that makes sense.

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