So this is day one of risperidone and?

I feel – empty. My regular evil magenta-ey feeling. I know, I know, I shouldn’t expect miracles but I always do. Also for the simple fact that medicines always and I mean always work quickly on me.

Seriously… Is it wrong to expect miracles? To want to be wowed once in a while in your life?

I mean I guess the meds have been working. We are going away this weekend and I’m not freaking out like I normally do. Then again – I’m in the midst of a major evil magenta.

I wanted to wake up and be all sparkly like: wow look at me; I just gave birth to a unicorn rainbow of awesome! which of course leads to the inevitable happiness:


Oh Definitely not the type of happiness I meant. I just wanted to wake up and not feel the urge to scream and be angry. I just wanted…….

To be me again.