I got an appointment suhckahs ninjas!

Ahem. Sorry, a little excited and extremely nervous.

Thank you Lord for the appt. I guess the cancellation list was a good thing to be on.


Told the husband, you’d think I told him I was seeing a drug dealer. Cause ya know he asked me to be more open with him. So I have been, about everything. Even the time I heard my voice coming out of the baby monitor … And I wasn’t talking … And I was in the basement.

No, I haven’t told y’all cause even I know not to say that out loud….even though I just did.

After I heard my voice I had another breakdown/catatonic/whatever-the-crap-that-was-the-other-day . I think it happens when I get really depressed – cause I was really depressed and freaked out about hearing my voice when I wasn’t talking.

Ay yi yi. It was horrible. Cause I heard my baby girl screaming for me – but I wouldn’t move. I didn’t want to move….no. That’s not right. I couldn’t move.

I don’t know. It’s kinda vague. I’m just grateful we live with my parents now because my mom walked in the door a few minutes after it started – she thought I was sleeping. She tried to wake me. I just grunted at her. She then prayed over my body and waited – I guess she was waiting for a miracle.

I could’ve sworn there was another person with her – cause she was talking with someone. But I now know it was me she was talking to.

She went upstairs got the kids and took them to her room downstairs and I fought. I cried out to God like crazy.


I was able to open my eye and move a little but I just fell right to sleep. My mom came up with the kids – I heard them and woke up. Tried talking, all I could say was “Puh”, over and over. Then I don’t remember much else. I do remember falling asleep again. When I woke up I was able to move and talk like normal again.
Whoa, talk about losing sight of a post. Totally not what I was gonna talk about.

Man, I can’t wait to see this doctor.