On the really bad days….

On the days where I’ve been fighting the crazy too long and hard; sometimes I wonder: is this for real?

Am I really living this life of two kids, a husband, living with my parents – is this for real?

What if…it ain’t? What if I’m really stuck in a psych ward somewhere and this is just some sorta fantasy I’ve made up because my parents did die during 9/11?

What if…nothing is real?

Those are some thoughts I get sometimes on the really bad days. Which I shut up quickly cause then, I’d really be crazy. Right? Then they would lock me up with the quickness. Man, I’m such a walking contradiction sometimes.

Then, there are the other days. Not necessarily the good days – just other days.

Other days when I’m like: what if I’m not the crazy one? What if…I’m just really enlightened or whatever the crap is the correct English?

What if….my thinking is the way you are supposed to think? What if…everyone else is wrong?

What if…I’m like an X-man…x-men…whatever you get my drift.

Oh. Wait. Here’s one for ya. What if…I’m special like that character from Stephen Kings “The Green Mile”? Though I haven’t had any healings happening around me – doesn’t mean it has to be healings right?

Hmm…too far? Yeah. I thought so.

Just sayin, what if…