If you follow me on twitter (and seriously I don’t know what’s wrong with you if you don’t), you know my obsession with Everybody Loves Raymond.

Reason being? I swear sometimes Raymond was modeled after my husband. Even though my husband and i were in college and hadn’t met for most of that show. But that’s neither here not there.

For instance? For the entire time we were dating? My husband could not same my mothers name.

He couldn’t say her first name or Mrs. _____ (ha. Like imma tell you that). He’s still like that with his aunts too. It’s sooooo funny! I constantly tease him about it.

Oh I could go on. But….

Why bring this up? After us being together eight years? Ha. No, he calls her by her first name – but he won’t call her on the phone. If he wants to talk to her? He makes me be the middle man. I hafta call her – and the weird part is I usually comply!

I kid you not. I have had many conversations between the two of them where they use me to talk to each other.

Wish I could say it was only on the phone; but that’s a story for another day. Okay I’ll tell ya real quick. My husband and I were newly engaged, we had just come to my parents house for dessert. My mom greets us (we were standing side by side) and my mom looks at me and asks: “Jessica can you ask the husband if he wants ice cream?” Then turned around and walked away. Yeah. See where I get my weirdness from?

Anyways, this Christmas my mother (who usually hosts Christmas dinner) is unable to. So my husband offered to cook Christmas dinner, so sweet right?

Wrong. I have been the middle man.

Ugh. I can’t with these two. Finally, I had enough y’all – it took me long enough but I sent them both this message:

My dear husband and mother, I love you guys. But the husband and I have been married for six years; I think you can start calling each other directly when planning stuff – specifically Christmas dinner. I cannot handle this in between stuff anymore. I have a cranky, evil 15 month old and a psychotic 3 yr old Ontop of my own anxiety issues that are starting to arise at the thought that 9 people are coming to this house. So please for my sake and the sake of my sanity (cause yes they are two separate entities) start calling each other and leaving me alone. Husband – I swear she doesn’t bite (anymore) and mom? Just slap him if he gets out of line (or if you want to just slap him just cause…..u may just owe him & not remember).

Aren’t y’all proud of me? Took me 3 weeks to realize I can say no – but I did it!