Catchy title right?

I put that when I dont know what the title should be.

So yeah.

Ya know how the other day I worked on…ha worked on. Wrote on having joy? No? Just check it out. Its really good. Course I think everything I write is freaking awesome though.

Anyways, so I started to put that into practice.

I failed a little.

But lemme tell you not the way you think.

It started out? Our refrigerator went bad. Had to throw out most of our food. But our food was really just leftovers – I hate wasting food but not too bad.

I didn’t go over the deep end and start complaining – I just dealt with it. The boy, girl and I went out to get our lunches (that were destroyed) and came back. They decided to throw huge fits the entire time.

Yeah, I had a moment where I just not wanted to be a mom. But seriously – what mom doesn’t have those moments? If you think “I’ve never”; you’re either delusional or lying to yoself.

Anyways, then came the bill from my hysterectomy. Oy. That’s all I’ll say. Oh and that our insurance from United Healthcare sucks majorly.

I had a moment where I thought – we are going to be paying this off forever! Then I just stopped myself quickly and said: God will provide. Cause He will, He’s awesome like that.

It was cool, I had several moments where I could have freaked out, delve into a deep depression – but I just kept a single mind. So maybe there is something to this. Maybe.

But …. Then came my failure.

I went to comment on someones site. Someone who I think is hysterical. I had the option to choose which post I wanted to be promoted on their site. I didn’t choose my post about joy.

Its not like I was ashamed. I just ….. I dont know. I’m not ashamed. I just wanted that person to comment on my site. All I thought was “they’ll like this post better” and went with another one.

God forgive me for my huge failure!

It looks like I’m ashamed and I’m not. So why did I do that?

One step at a time I guess right?

God forgive me.