true story.

so here in the great state that I live in. Which now that I think about it, I’ll just say – is Maryland (if you follow me on twitter you already know. Don’t know why I was trying to be shady there. Man, I am so weird.)

Anywoo, here in MD you hafta get your car inspected for emissions….whatever….something. I have no idea. I just know I had to get it inspected for something. Since obviously I couldn’t take my double creature feature, I dropped them off at my moms and drove off to what I thought was an hour of freedom.

Apparently I went at a time where there was not that many cars and it only was a 15 minute wait.

Dangit right?

So, wanting some extra me time – I drove back to my moms and just sat outside in the car. Tweeting, of course.

Was a great 30 minutes.

But then?

It happened.

I almost lost my life.

The hugest small spider I have ever seen started walking across my winshield – on the INSIDE OF MY CAR!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry to yell, but I have a terrible case of arachna…arachni…huge fear of spiders. Like panic attack, can’t breathe, room spinning type. Ya know….the ones that I get……..random….now.


Anyhow. Seriously this thing was so big, I heard it tapping across the winshield.

Eww…..I am getting the creepy crawlies.

Crap. Hold on my son has my daughter in a half-nelson.


Okay. Like I said. It was huge.

For a small spider.

So, I contemplated running away for my life; as it was most definitely coming to eat my brains out – but I didn’t. Why? Cause I didn’t want this thing living in my car any longer! So, this ninja took off her flip flop and?

Did a Hulk smash and killed the suhckah!!

So I quickly cleaned up the smear and stuffed the wipe in an old coffee cup. I, of course, held the coffee cup at arms length – cause you know spiders are part zombie and can come back to life even in smear form – and quickly threw it in the trash.

But heres the best thing….I didn’t freak out!!

Normally…Ha! There is nothing normal about me. Usually, I would just freak out and run out the car. But I didn’t. I stayed and fought back. I think this is growth.