I remember watching an episode of “True Life – I have OCD”. Like a million and a half years ago (that’s actual time frame), and there was this guy on it.
He had a bad case of OCD. He had to put on several applications of deodorant under each arm, until it felt right; he would keep kissing his girlfriend goodbye until it felt okay to let her leave.
I could go on – but I’ll spare ya. Mostly cause I don’t remember the rest.
But I remember feeling bad. I kept thinking: “man, that poor crazy guy. Why doesn’t he just take medicine? He just needs Jesus in His life”
Yeah, I was a know-it-all idiot.
Anyhow, fast forward 40 million years and boom. Here I am. Putting on deodorant a billion times….just until it feels just right. Nope. Not because I’m smelly, it’s just because … my brain tells me I need to.
I kiss my husband a thousand times before he goes to work – until it feels just right.
Sometimes? I hafta to pull away and just tell myself: trust God, trust God, trust God. You’re fine, you’re fine.
But it literally hurts.
Like right now, I just showered and had to pull, myself away from my deodorant. It feels wrong. Like I need more applications. Man, I hate that I understand that guy know.
Again, I do it not because I stink….actually I smell really, really good.
God. I love this deodorant.
What was I talking about again?
I don’t know…dangit. Time for doctor who.
Did I mention I suffer from ADHD too?
Shocking. I know.