Ya know, people look at me when I tell them of my condition and look at me in shock.

“Are you sure you have bipolar?”

At first it was irritating, but as my husband ever so irritatingly (I hate when he’s right) reminds me – it’s a testament to my strength.

I’m not so sure.

Sure, I don’t lash out and scream when every inch of me wishes to. So, okay; I don’t punch walls and cry and fall into a ball for the simple reason that the boy and girl need me to be functioning.

Maybe I get up and shower and take the kids out when all I wanna do is curl up into myself and push out the world.

Does that make me strong?

I still look at a knife (or anything sharp) no way a human should. I pray constantly for God to silence the crazy thoughts. I keep my nails short cause I don’t trust myself. I run screaming from my kids when they are being to much…..like kids.

Is that strength? Or is that just surviving?