so you know how my husband was all weird and “you’re the only one that thinks you have this disease”?
Well, I was mad at him for being such an idiot – but not too much. Mostly cause I wasn’t completely honest with him. I didn’t tell him how I knew I needed something was wrong with me in the first place.
I didn’t tell him how I knew when the doctor said: You have bipolar; it all fit.
But I couldn’t tell him. I was ashamed.
You see, I wanted to cheat on him.
Thats normal you say? Nope. First and foremost? I made a vow to love only him. To be faithful to him. I made it to God. That? I don’t take lightly.
People are human you say? Well, We have a great marriage. He makes me laugh, our relationship is …. he is my best friend. I tell him everything. Everything is fine….even our bow-chica-wow-wow times – perfect. Sure we have our moments, but what couple doesn’t? That’s when I knew something was wrong with me. That person who wanted to cheat? Thats not me.
So that’s when I knew. Thank God I never did anything. But still, I hang my head in shame.
and I definitely couldn’t tell the husband.
But I did finally. Last night. I was in tears and he? Was understanding.
Wait….no seriously. He was understanding! He finally understood that I have bipolar! Me opening up finally got him to see that there is something wrong with me.
I cant believe I am so happy about that – but I am.
After a while of talking, we came to the conclusion that I am putting too much on myself. My other blog? I am gonna stop writing. I am gonna keep open cause of the uplifting crap I have on there (ain’t I sweet?) – I want anyone to be able to look it up. My book? I dont know if I said that here, I’m writing a book. There ya go. Now I said it. Anyways, the book rewriting is just gonna go a little slower. I gotta take care of me first.
But I’m keeping this blog. This will just be my lifestyle blog. Of how I awesomely beat down the crazy daily. Or other daily…or ya know, whenever I choose to update.