I’m tired of all this crap.

I am tired of being the only one that thinks …scratch that. I know I have bipolar 2. I am tired of being the only one that thinks I am mentally ill. Oh wait you’re saying: shouldn’t I be the only one that matters? And you are probably saying why the crap are you proudly proclaiming that? To that second question I say: Shush and get off this blog. Seriously. Go.

But yeah.  It should be the only one that matters, but you see the crazy? (thats what I call it – don’t care if I should or shouldn’t. Why? cause its true. Sometimes I be crazy) The crazy makes me think I should be listening to the other people. I shouldn’t take this medicine.

That the days that I swear the paranoia and fear will take over and I will go bat (bleep) crazy on people – are just my imagination. You see I am a christian and apparently bible believing christians don’t get mentally ill. Its satan working on their brain. I gotta say that I do believe them to a degree. But still, someone who is not crazy like me? Doesn’t get these thoughts so therefore? I be crazy and I need medicine.

Now, if only I could get my husband to understand this crap. Nope. He says: You feeling better? That must be Jesus and not the medicine.

Hmm………why can’t it be both?

The other day I got an email from the pastors wife. She said that she believes with all her heart that I do not have bipolar 2 and that its just the stress I am going through. My mom said almost the same. She said I do have it, but that once the husband stops working his two jobs I’ll be better.

I love how these two people who know nothing about how my brain has been working – know everything about me. Um…the worst part? this genius up in here (the crazy) wants to listen to them.

Holy crap. Why can’t I get someone to just sit there and say: ok fine. So you need medicine. What else is new with you?

Why is there such a stigma with mental illness?